✆ castiel's voicemail

[dirtytrenchcoat]

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[dirtytrenchcoat]

Animals love me. I'm sure Miracle and I won't have any trouble bonding.

[His preference is to stay with Dean, and he hasn't forgotten that he offered not once now, but twice. It felt natural to occupy the same space as him, to see him when he woke up and listen to him breathe from rooms away when he found peaceful sleep. It's something he'd come to count on when he stayed at the bunker, even if he left on occasion when he had to chase down a lead.]

You don't have to worry about taking me on dates. I don't need to be shown off.

[cholesterol]

Okay, you can walk Miracle. And play with him.

( Give his neck the skritches he likes. )

... Dates aren't about showing you off. You want to be shown off?

[dirtytrenchcoat]

I assumed dates and outings were about showmanship.

[Why else would people spend so much time and energy on one meal? He'd rather learn to cook and watch Dean enjoy it. Like the pie he'd brought him on Valentine's Day.]

I don't. I'm happy just being here with you like this.

[cholesterol]

I'm not a date expert, but it's about spending time. Dinner, a movie. Bowling. Having fun together. And shit, yeah, people can be jealous they aren't you. But I don't think that's why?

( Again, he's not the expert here. )

[dirtytrenchcoat]

I've never been bowling or to a movie.

[Neither of them were experts but Castiel was happiest in Dean's company and wouldn't mind an outing. He's enjoyed their time together outside of the bunker in the past.]

But that's beside the point. We don't need to do anything out of the ordinary to make this, what we have, official unless you'd like to.

[cholesterol]

( He covers Cas' hands with his. )

It's not about doing something out of the ordinary, it's just about doing the ordinary thing, the real thing. Cas, we get a life here. No hunting, no bunker, no death. We have each other. It's not perfect and a lot of it isn't right, but you and me bowling or in a movie theatre or just sharing a bottle, that's right.

[dirtytrenchcoat]

[Castiel's lips curl up again, and with Dean's hands in his he leans forward and meets his lips in a gentle kiss. Something sweeter than the lingering touches and passionate moments they'd shared.]

Thank you, but I'm not sure we should go to a movie here. [Given what all their movies and tv shows played out like here. He'd much rather watch movies with Dean here, in the comfort of his place, the way he had the first time he'd stayed over.]

[cholesterol]

( Even this, different to what they usually are, intense or immersed, is normal. It's ordinary. It's sweet. )

Right, yeah, or watch the Weather Channel.

[dirtytrenchcoat]

Probably not an unwise thing to do considering what happened with the snow.

[It's sweet, domestic in a way he thought he'd never be with Dean. He was happy with what they were to each other physically. They were still learning and exploring, in areas of physical and emotional intimacy and he was dedicated to meeting Dean there, and being present despite the city and its effects.]

[cholesterol]

You know - as - pushed as we were. It's not like I didn't want to. Or, like I didn't know I wanted to. It's that I never got the chance to.

( He's bold, he's honest, but he means every word. )

[dirtytrenchcoat]

I know that. I meant what I said. I'm glad it was you.

[Castiel had been privileged beforehand, he'd been able to secure a monthly quota with Poe and go forward without being dosed or incarcerated but when Dean came to occupy the same plane of existence as him. Everything changed.

Castiel didn't think anything of it then, they were always orbiting each other. They had a way of gravitating back toward each other even when circumstances might have made them do otherwise.]

[cholesterol]

Didn't know I wanted the chance to.

( He mutters. )

[dirtytrenchcoat]

The chance to? What, Dean?

[People often forgot so often that being an angel, he can hear someone rooms away regardless of muttering. He'd come to find comfort in that at the bunker, but he addressed when he felt he had to. Like now.]

[cholesterol]

Figure out how I feel. Get my head out of my ass. Not just hunt, dog-dad. Not - not just die.

( Because, that's what it's been about for weeks. He's dead. Gone. Buried. But here. And he's done living like it. )

[dirtytrenchcoat]

[Castiel swallows hard and lifts one hand out from under Dean's to place a gentle palm just across the cut of his jaw. The same way he might have had Dean needed healing or any kind of comfort that healing could provide.

Alongside what happened with Jimmy, knowing of Dean's death and being unable to stop it or assist had been one of the hardest things he'd ever had to contend with. It aches in him still, in the same places that always did when he felt useless and hapless.]

But you did. I'm here Dean. For anything — for everything.

[cholesterol]

( He's not good at accepting help, or admitting he needs or appreciates it. He never has been. His instinct is to pull him closer and to kiss him, but all he can do is hand his head, mouth forming a smile, chin flexing under Cas' touch.

He says that now, but Dean cracks under pressure. Dean fails people. He loses. )

[dirtytrenchcoat]

[Neither is Castiel, he's taken those pages straight from Dean's book more than once but he'd made a promise to be better and to vocalize himself more here and he intended to keep it.]

No matter what happens. I've ruined things before, I've ruined myself, but we've always found a way back to each other Dean and as long as you're here I intend to be present for you. As your submissive, as your friend. Your boyfriend?

[cholesterol]

( He kisses the inside of Cas' palm, holding his wrist there, closing his eyes again, nodding. )

You wanna be my boyfriend?

[dirtytrenchcoat]

[The gesture is more affectionate than he's used to being, and it feels like an untapped well of emotions has been split open between them, raw and necessary. He pushes his thumb into Dean's cheek to reciprocate, bracing with some firmness, a reminder of his dedication.]

I do. I want to live up to the title.

[cholesterol]

You will.

( It's him he isn't so sure about. )

ooc: we can fade to black and just assume dean got a great bj with some casual body worship

[dirtytrenchcoat]

We'll figure it out together.

[Castiel's thoroughly enjoyed his eggs, but he can sense that Dean needs more reassurance than what he can provide at this moment at the table between the two of them.]

Let's go to the bedroom.